Change is only possible via self-care

Photo by Jared Murray on Unsplash

Over the last year, I have learned quite a bit about myself while leading my company’s Mental Health programme. As exciting and rewarding it has been to promote Mental Health, it also has been taxing. Suddenly, I felt an immense amount of pressure not only to get the right model in place, but to provide the community with the right amount of support to feel safe and healthy at work.

Needless to say, stress hovered over me as a glooming cloud before a storm. I was consumed with every small detail, and unknowingly became a circus juggler balancing client deliverables, family, and whatever time I had for a personal life. It was not easy, and my body decided to send me a very specific message to slow down. After a few health episodes, I decided to take a step back and realize that I will be of no use to anyone if I do not take care of myself.

Over the years, I have been fortunate to have mentors in my life to teach me some very important life lessons — that hopefully you will find useful as well.

1. Do not undermine your issues — Allow yourself to feel stress, anxiety, sadness because your problem is valid. Often, people dismiss their problems by saying their problems aren’t as bad as others, and give potentially worst case scenarios as comparisons. However that opinion is subjective and unfair to you, by using someone else’s particular situation as a benchmark of our own happiness. Rather than masking these problems, try to understand the root of your issue and face it head strong. Make a list of all the items that give you stress. Physically writing it out, and visually seeing this list provides immediate relief. Prioritize the severity. Start making small actionable goals to bring your stress/anxiety down.
2. What is actually in your control? — As humans, we naturally think about the ‘what-ifs’ however we have no control over that. Decisions made in the past are outside of your control, no matter how much we would like to change certain situations. We also have no control over situations that depend on external factors or people — as most of our life situations. Prepping for a client interview and representing yourself in the best possible way is in your control, however the ultimate decision is not in your control. So my question to you is why stress over things outside of your power? Instead, use that energy and angst to churn a sweeter path for your present and future.
3. Confidence is a choice — We are not born with confidence, even though we may think people are naturally confident. It is a combination of competency, practice, and a bit of impostor syndrome. We all face new challenges everyday either with our work or our personal lives. What do we do? We try to educate ourselves as much as we can and understand the problem at hand — which builds our competency as a whole. Continuation of any activity makes us better harnessing this skill. Practice. Lastly, ‘fake it till you make it’ may seem amusing, yet that small risk allows you to build that confidence step by step. Repeat this circle, and remember all of us can be confident if we choose to be.

Why do I mention all of this? We often have visions of change, however the stress/anxiety may freeze us in our tracks. To drive change, we need to understand how to take care of ourselves first and then realize how to regain control of a situation that puts you back in the driver’s seat. Ultimately, you can find the direction that serves you best.