Mental Health at the workplace…It’s time we speak up.
As far as I can remember, every job that I have had in my career did not fully appreciate the term ‘mental health’. Sure, co-workers and managers listened to me, supported me when I needed it, and surely escalated issues for me. However, the moments where life pressures became just purely unbearable, where I needed an outlet at work to just talk through the anxiety and find a solution, I failed to find one. I could not find the balance of being open about personal conflict, dealing with work tasks, and still being a productive individual that contributed to my company’s overall mission. In fact, when I was 17, working in my local public library as an AV Helper (helping patrons use Microsoft Word and something called the Internet) back in 2004, I dealt with a lot of personal stress. High school loves, family pressures, and being a teenager to just name a few. I came into work one day and was just glum. There was no other word to explain my condition, because I was the living embodiment of the frown emoji that day. My co-worker, who I thought of as a friend, took me a aside and said, “You need to stop moping around and get your shit together. Leave all of your personal stress outside those doors, because frankly, no one cares”. And for the next 14 years, that’s exactly what I did.
As a society, we condition ourselves not to bring our personal lives into the workplace for various reasons. We want to keep that part of us private to the working environment, we may not think it’s professional to speak about our personal issues, or we feel that no one will care even if we do share. In my case, it was ALL the above. Ever since that nameless co-worker shared her opinion and judgment, I have trained my brain not to speak about my personal turmoil at work. Don’t get me wrong, I never wanted to speak about the deep dark skeletons hidden in my closet with co-workers who I barely knew. But I did want to have the space to be open and say “Hey XYZ co-worker, I’ve had a really rough weekend, nothing serious, but if you can just give me an extra day on that piece of work, I’d greatly appreciate it!” *WAITS FOR SOME SORT OF EXPLOSION* That’s how our brains work, that’s how society works, that is HOW we have been taught to work. The second we show that side of vulnerability, it is feared that we may be exposing too much of ourselves and our work life may explode into chaos. Sharing that side of us may be perceived as being weak, and incapable in handling our workload. Or even worse, that we are incompetent. The truth is we are none of those. We as humans, living in a functioning society, that are willing and able to contribute back to our respective communities have a right to look after ourselves, even at work. It is so easy to call out for a sick day when you have the common cold or flu, so why is it seen as a negative thing when you do the same for a mental break? Why are those two insanely separate from each other, where the body gets all the attention and love, where as the mind is treated as last week’s leftover macaroni and cheese? It is time to find a balance, because life is not sustainable if you just are physically fit yet mentally suffering.
So where do we start? How does an individual feel that they can share their issues/problems at work, without those stares and whispers? How does one feel fully supported to avoid any sort of penalization in compensation and credit? It STARTS with defining mental health. For years, the term ‘mental health’ had made people uncomfortable. There is a negative energy that somehow pops up, and spreads across the room when anyone tries to speak about the topic. This attitude can only be changed when we truly understand mental health. The World Health Organization defines mental health as a state of well-being in which the individual realizes his or her own abilities, can cope with the normal stresses of life, can work productively and fruitfully, and is able to make a contribution to his or her community. How can this definition provoke such discomfort and uncertainty across the masses? The literal definition should encourage us to fight for a healthy mind set to ensure we are dealing with the pressures of life and adding value to our day to day. With that said, our workplace owe us a supportive environment that spreads this message across their organization. Not because they are doing us a favor. It is because it is THEIR responsibility. As the work force, we spend 40–50–60+ a week to contribute to the company’s mission statement, and make sacrifices to see our friends and loved ones. We spend more time in the office, then anywhere else during the week. Unless we are some billionaire mogul that does not have to worry about working in an office environment with other people, the corporation we work for has a duty to care for us on a day to day basis. By no means am I attempting to portray an image that all work environments are similar to working for Mr. Burns from the Simpsons. I’m sure that a lot of work places attempt to encourage work/life balances, and provide support system to their employees that check their Health and Well Being mission every quarter. But is that enough? The answer in most cases is No.
This leads into my 2nd action that employers should look to implement: Remove the Stigma. No matter how much bloggers (or amateur bloggers like myself) speak about this topic, mental health has this unfortunate negative stigma hovering over it. As mentioned before, the second you mention that someone had to take a mental health day, eyebrows rise so high on people’s faces, they permanently become a caricature. To remediate everyone looking like cartoon characters, and help this matter, employers should adapt and implement a ‘stigma free zone’ — where employees feel comfortable in sharing whatever they feel they need to, in order to get back on track to contribute to organizations mission and purpose. I am not suggesting that employers adapt to become therapists, because that would be outside of their professional capacity and abilities. However, if an employee wants to leave work early one day a week to speak to a mental health professional, that should be welcomed with open arms rather than frowned upon. Removing an ancient and archaic stigma will not occur overnight, but small steps in the right direction can break this unnecessary mind set. Regular check-ins should be available for employees to voice their concerns, without having fear that their confession will somehow have a negative impact on their careers. Sometimes employees are perfectly happy with their personal life, but the actual work load is too overwhelming and feel they do not have an outlet. “This is the job I signed up for” or “This is just how things are in my field” are common thoughts that we as a society need to abolish. Everyone deals with stress differently, and a standard approach does not apply for everyone in this specific area. If we can create an environment that allows people to be open about the stress at work, productivity would actually increase. Bringing it back to physical health, no one cure is applicable to the masses. Most people go through various different methods for treating an ailment, so dealing with mental stability and confidence at work should be no different. Some employers do a better job at this, by providing systems in place where 1:1 with managers are the best place to voice these concerns. However, everyone should ask themselves how many times have we really been honest with our manager about work? How many times have we painted a misguided view of how we are ‘handling’ the work load, even though it is difficult? We are conditioned to behave this way, because the moment our bosses think we are ‘stressed’ at work, they may take the workload away, get us off a certain project, or not consider us for that promotion we have been fighting so hard for — all scenarios we are not ready to enter into. So how do we fix this? Invite your employees to share, and show empathy to make them feel there is a safe place for them to be vulnerable and human.
Now that I have brought up the topic of vulnerability, I’d like to bring up my 3rd action, and probably the most important: Leadership Testimonials. Everything I’ve said prior to this, would be utterly useless if the message is not shared with top management at the work place. Employees need to feel a connection with their management, and that is successfully done with being vulnerable. I’ve had many managers in my career — some have been so bad ass I’d work for them again in a heartbeat, and others I would vomit if I saw them again on the street. Regardless how great or crappy they were, I haven’t had one single manager speak about their specific mental health struggles. How they deal with the day to day pressures of work, and how they manage to make a work life balance that suits their needs. The probable answer to this query is because the image of management is to be revered. To be strong. To be respected. If your management becomes vulnerable, then are they still good managers? Are they still good leaders? The answer is YES! Being vulnerable makes us human. It allows us to connect with others, with our friends, families, and yes even co-workers. Being vulnerable is not a weakness, and we should not suppress our feelings of shame, anxiety, or fear because it takes away from our joy, our happiness, and our success. As I enter my 3rd year of management, I’ve tried to be open to my various teams about my own struggles at the company, and steer junior members in the right direction to be successful. But have I been truly vulnerable? The answer is I could do better. I could have told my team that earlier this year when my project was so overwhelming, I had a panic attack and left the office without telling anyone to take a walk around the building. My head was spinning, my blood sugar was low. I could have passed out from the anxiety if I had not sit down on the bench when I did. An hour later I came back to my desk, and went on like nothing happened. I could have told other people who worked with me that I have been seeing a therapist for 10 months this past year, just to handle day to day life pressures, and manage my workload at my job. I could have been open to saying why I can never make any meeting prior to 9am because if I missed my early gym morning session, I feel anxious the entire day. I feel I’m mentally incapable in handling the day’s workload because I would not be able to free my stress. Instead, I lie. I lie where I was, where I am going, what I am doing because as leaders of an organization, we have to carry a culture of positivity, which actually prevents important conversations. If I am unable to connect with my team, on potentially the same stress related items they are going through, how can I expect them to be productive? How can I actually believe there is a work culture that is open and honest? How can I promote an environment that understands the people who perform the work? Every organization needs to come to the realization that I have come to very recently — people drive our businesses and if we do not take care of our people, our ultimate goal and mission is at jeopardy. To effectively demand for change, senior leaders of every organization should have sessions at work and speak about the stress they have undergone, and how they have coped with it. By doing so, we do not lose face or exude weakness. We become more human.
The steps organizations have to take to truly implement a strong and robust mental health program can be daunting. Writing this blog took weeks of mind mapping and processing because I wanted to articulate a clear process in how we can make true change. So yes it may be daunting, or scary, or even unnecessary to most — but the benefits truly will outweigh the initial steps of effort. The truth is the act of inaction has continued on for far too long, and society has a right to stop suffering in silence.
